


Genji's Holiday Hijinks

by TaiWind



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Domestic, Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 08:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8972542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaiWind/pseuds/TaiWind
Summary: Follow along with Genji Shimada on his quest to acquire a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. (Spoiler: It does not go well.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> written for secret santa on the gency discord server. short (hopefully) funny thing full of misfortune. sorry it's so late, i scrapped my original idea in the middle due to lack of inspiration.

‘Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Well, that’s not entirely true. The one creature that was stirring was Genji Shimada, who for all his effort had not found a Christmas tree yet. He’d bought all the presents he needed to for his friends and family, but the most crucial Christmas decoration had yet eluded him. One thing, he knew above all; if he could not find a tree until that evening, his wife would surely show him no mercy (and yes, dear readers, that is a pun).

So Genji considered his options, and then set out to the streets of the city, to find one of those Christmas tree salespeople who usually come out during the season to sell Christmas trees. He’d gone out to look for them before, of course, but for one reason or another, he couldn’t find any that still had trees in stock. Clad in naught but a Santa hat, the cyborg set out on what could be his final mission.

* * *

The streets were full of people who, like Genji himself, were doing their last-minute shopping. Among all the omnics and people, Genji’s unique design stood out like a sore thumb, and the santa hat did not help. All he was hoping to do was find that forsaken tree, and not run into Angela herself doing her own last-minute shopping somehow. But that would take an impossible amount of bad luck, Genji reassured himself as he continued to look around, scanning the square for any hint of that fabled tree salesperson.

“Spare some coin, mister?”

Genji looked down to see a small child, couldn’t be more than 8, clad in ragged winter wear and looking up at him expectantly. It was sad to think that even in these times of prosperity, there were still people out there who had no place to call home, especially this young. Especially on Christmas. But Christmas was a time of sharing, and Genji could not live with himself if he didn’t give the people in need at least some support. So, he gave the child some of his money. “Thank you, mister!” the kid squealed happily and ran away, leaving Genji with a warm and fuzzy feeling in his heart.

* * *

An hour might have passed, and Genji finally found that tree salesman he had been searching for. He picked out a tree, and was about to pay for it, but found he was a few coins too short.

“That’s not enough cash, mate,” said the salesman, an odd fellow covered head-to-toe in soot, his hairdo resembling a fire (and it might have been a bit on fire too, but Genji couldn’t tell.)

“I’m sorry, sir,” said Genji, “I gave some of my money away to a homeless child on the way here.” The salesman raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t you give me a discount? I mean, it is Christmas, isn’t it?”

“It is Christmas,” said the salesman, “but I ain’t a charity. No cash, no tree.”

“You’re not a very kind man, you know that?” Genji crossed his arms at the salesman, who laughed in his face in response.

“And you ain’t a good listener, mate. Roadie!” The salesman snapped his fingers twice, and as if on cue, a large man who had somehow been hidden between the trees came out of them. He made his way to Genji and grabbed him with just one of his huge hands, all the while the salesman looked on, no doubt enjoying the strange spectacle. ‘Roadie’ carried Genji out of the fenced-in area, then turned around and went back in without a word, closing the gate behind himself.

“Hey! You forgot to give me back my… money.” Genji sighed and sat down on the pavement. Treeless and newly penniless, he now had no way of getting a tree in time for Angela to get home that evening. But then, out of nowhere, a crazy idea came to him.

* * *

Right outside the city was a huge sprawling forest, full of pine trees covered in snow and fresh for the taking. Genji almost felt bad for disturbing the purity of such a place, but it was a necessary evil - necessary for the saving of his own ass from his wife. Because as we all know, Hell hath no fury like a woman without her Christmas tree.

After some time, Genji found a nice, reasonably-sized evergreen, and with one cleave of his blade, claimed the young tree for his household. He tossed it over his shoulder (shaking off some of the snow) and began his trek back to the city. It was so simple, he thought. Why didn’t he think of it sooner? He had almost made it out of the woods, when suddenly-

“Stop right there, criminal scum!”

The booming, Russian-accented voice echoed through the forest, and Genji found himself face to face with a muscular woman about two heads taller than him. Her bright pink hair contrasting with her navy blue police uniform, she stood in Genji’s way with her hands on her hips, preventing him from going any further.

“What seems to be the problem?” Genji asked.

“Are you avare that this is a protected zone?” the officer responded. Genji gulped in fear. He was not aware that it was a protected zone, but in retrospect, that was probably why he didn’t just go out and chop a tree sooner.

“I’m terribly sorry, officer,” Genji said, dropping the tree at his feet. “I just don’t have a Christmas tree yet, so I thought I’d go get one here.” The policewoman raised one eyebrow. “Could you please let me go? I mean, it is Christmas-”

“Cut the срање,” said the officer, looking down at Genji. “You vill have to pay a fine for trespassing and unauthorized removal of foliage.” She took out a notebook and pen, and began scribbling down notes. “Name?”

“Genji Shimada,” Genji said, complying. If he wasn’t in deep shit already, he sure as hell was now. “Can’t I at least keep the tree?”

“No,” came the reply. The officer bent down and picked up the tree, tossing it over her shoulder. “It is evidence.” She gave the fine ticket to Genji, then turned around and walked away, leaving him alone in the forest with no tree, no money and completely out of luck.

* * *

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and Angela just came home from work. Not a creature was stirring, and she certainly found it odd that she couldn’t hear her husband at all - he would usually have come out to greet her by then. Angela took off her coat and made her way to the living room, where she was met with the most unusual sight - her husband Genji, standing in the corner of the room, all wrapped up in Christmas lights and ornaments, with a star perfectly balanced on the top of his head.

“Genji, what is this?” she gasped, completely bewildered.

“Sorry, my love,” said Genji in a defeated tone. “I could not find a Christmas tree for you, so I became the Christmas tree.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Angela responded. She had to admit, she definitely did not expect to find this when she came home. It was actually kind of hilarious, in a pitiful sort of way.

“I will accept whatever you have to say to me,” Genji said, bowing his head in shame. The star ornament lost its balance and fell down to the floor with a clanging noise. He was not prepared, however, for Angela to walk over and give him a hug.

“I don’t need a tree,” she told him, “as long as I have you.”

“I don’t understand,” Genji said. “I thought the Christmas tree was a very important part of Christmas tradition.”

“Well, it is,” Angela said, “but being with the ones you love is the most important.”

“Oh,” Genji replied. “That is true.”

The duo walked over to the sofa and sat down, Genji not even bothering to untangle himself from the mess of Christmas lights he’d wrapped himself up in.

“You mentioned you couldn’t find a Christmas tree though?” Angela asked.

“Oh yes, it is quite the story,” Genji said looking at her, and she looked back at him, excited to hear it. “It all started with this Australian salesman...”


End file.
